Halloween

Masks and wigs
Costumes and candy
Screams and laughter

What else can I say?

Happy Halloween(:

Here we goooo

Looks & smiles.
Why must my mind play tricks on me?

Also,
I sort of feel bad for the words that were carelessly falling out from my mouth.
It's not like what I was saying wasn't true,
It was just...

Say Anything

It's so loud
& Crowded.
I really didn't want to go into the mess
But I followed you
I took the chance
We squished into the crowd

& separated from the rest of our friends
Holding hands,
We were not letting go
Standing on my tippy toes
I can't see a thing
But as I'm looking around,

I see you
You're in a bigger mess of people
You see me
You reach out your hand
& we touch
But I'm too scared to take hold

You see him too
You squeeze my hand saying
Go
I'm so scared
I can feel my heart inside my throat
He then again see's me, & holds out his hand

It's like minutes pass
I do not want to get hurt
I've been in messes like this before
But where you are, you can see the music
Your eyes glowing,
I need to make a decision

I let go of my fear
I reach out for you
& I fly across the people between
Now we are together
In this crazy crowd
But I'm not scared

The music begins
Along with the mosh pit
We stick together
Shoving their sweaty selves around
I am not afraid
Because I'm with my friends

I begin to scream the lyrics
That you've imprinted into my skull
So beautifully written,
Look what you've done to me
I'm taken over by the sound
When you move, I move

The words you've cleverly written
& strung along with a lovely melody
Is not just moving me,
But everyone.
I love you,
Say Anything.

Thank you for helping me let go of another fear that was buried down inside me.
I'll never forget last night.

Something that made my day

Sydney,

Don't worry about not being able to make it to conferences. Your
safety is far more important. I've gone ahead and pasted my comments
about your drafts into this email.

***

First of all, let me address the caliber of your prose here. I've said
it before, but it deserves repeating: you, Sydney, have talent. Your
descriptions are succinct, memorable, and well-delivered. Your voice
is clear and direct. People work their entire lives to hone skills
that seem almost second-nature to you. I hope that, long after this
class is finished, you still continue writing. Don't ever let that
gift go to waste.

Now, on to these assignments proper: Your poem is hysterical, and an
absolutely perfect example of what I hope students will accomplish
with this assignment. While you are telling the same story that your
other drafts tell, you've told it in a fashion that is completely its
own. As a result, the story feels new and exciting to your reader,
despite the fact that it's already been told to them in a different
fashion. Excellent work.

Regarding your inspirational draft: while I like what you're doing at
the end (and would encourage you to keep the work you've completed
there), I hope that you can go back throughout the story and revise
the description from the suspenseful text. Make this narrative feel as
unique as the child's story does! You certainly have the ability.

Good luck with your revisions, Sydney. Can't wait to see what you come up with!

***

Just a thought

As the rain falls from the sky, I notice that the clouds have a very thick and gray color. It's cold outside and very windy.
& then a leave hits me in the face and I randomly am stuck with this idea of people in the clouds.

Okay, not really people, but aliens.

What if they invaded earth and tried taking over, but they didn't like the idea of living with us, so they moved up to the sky & live in the clouds. Which means that we have eternal gloominess and rain.

Before they move back to the sky, the go about earth destroying everything and everyone that won't listen. Thousands and thousands are killed around the globe, but there are some survivors, like me and my friends.

While the aliens were on earth, they set up concentration camps and sent humans there. When they set me free, I only was with my best friend when we discovered our families had not survived. We eventually ended up running into our other friends and we go to one of our old houses and decide it will be ours.

Life would never be the same. Since aliens had this super power in which they could morph in ways that made them look exactly like us, you had to carry an ID card with you @ all times. The police would go to every door, conduct tests on you, and if they found you were human, the would stick a small chip in your eye. That way, when you go out to school, work, or just to walk around the block, police can shine a special tool in your eyes that have the chip glow. If you didn't have a chip, your chip malfunctioned, or you were an alien, you were sent to a military base for tests. If you tried to run, you were killed on the spot.

Curiosity rules our minds, wondering what they are doing above us and what it's like up there. There are many rumors, but we want to know the truth. My friends and I decide that we're going to find out. We get ready to explore the sky & decide to leave right in the morning for the tallest building left to see if we can take a peek of what's really above us.

But we wake up to sunshine on our skin, peeking through the blinds in our home. We all run outside to see a clear sky. Did the aliens invade again, but did it in ways where we couldn't see them? Or did they leave to get another group to come back and take over?


Like I said, just a thought walking home from school.

Should I run with it? We'll see.

My Mask

My mask hides my eyes
They tell such a fascinating story
Of how I became who I am today.

I first tried glasses on when I was in 2nd grade.
They were tiny little wire ones, only to help me see.
Then I decided to get thicker ones to hide what's underneath.

But lately, I feel that I now have nothing to hide.
So I'm trying something different.

We'll see how long it lasts....

Probably until I fall down the stairs.

Anything for attention I tell yah.

I've gotta vent super fast, or I'll sleep with clenched fists.

I hate it when people (girls) post on facebook or even talk about football when they know absolutely nothing about it.
Trust me, we all know you know nothing about it.
So stop trying to
Impress us.
Excuse me.
Stop trying so damn hard to
Impress guys.

Seriously, if I came over right now and asked you to name 5 players on 'your' team
You could name 1.
Possibly 2.

I know I know, I don't know everything about football, but
I actually watch the games and enjoy getting to know the players.
I put my heart into the game and when you go on facebook to draw attention to yourself,thinking you know about it because you checked the scores online,

it's really annoying.

So please, stfu.

Happy birthday!

Today will be one of the greatest days of your life
Today, you may announce you are
Forever Young

Have an amazing 21.


Enjoy it, friend(::

Just a thought

When we talk about death,
It's a terrible thing.

When things die, we feel empty.
We feel as if they were stolen from us
We now realize that they're going to be gone from our everyday life.

We never celebrate death
Maybe it's because we're so unsure of what's next
Maybe it's because we're selfish & want them for our own
Maybe it's because their life was taken from them on accident
Maybe it's because we want a second chance

As the leaves change colors
And people celebrate the season, I think to myself

Why is death our favorite season when we hate it so much?

We watch as each leaf slowly looses it's life.
It changes colors because it's
Dying
We watch them die and we're okay with that.
We celebrate the beauty that they display
& The life that they led when they were here
Then they fall, and we pick them up
& dispose of the pieces left behind as their spirit leaves them.

But the one thing that I love about their death is
A beautiful leaf is bound to return in the spring.
They will be missed during our cold and dark days,
But we keep in mind that we'll see them again.

What if we looked at the deaths of our loved ones like that?
What if we could celebrate what they had when they were here?
The beautiful colors that they portray through their smiles and laughs
The lovely life that they lived

But we aren't sad because we know we'll see them again.





Sigh.

I think too much.

Let Go

I know I should be the last one talking
Since, well, I don't
Let anything go

But,
This is kinda different

We happened awhile ago
Yes, what we had was special
But it's over.

Things
Happened.

People
Change.

You
Changed.

I
Changed.

I'll always
Love you

But,
We're over.

Everything we had
Is no longer
There.

Let me go.

Zombies for the children (Expressive Writing)

If you haven't read my scary version of this yet, you should probably do that first.
Then come back here!
If you have
Enjoy.



Zombies eat brains
Zombies eat flesh
Zombies are good at hiding
So look under your desk!

Zombies are not nice
Zombies are vicious
Zombies have head lice
What I’m saying is not fictitious

Zombies lurk in the dark
They creep and they crawl
Waiting for humans to spark
& then they’re ready to brawl!

Now I’ve probably scared you
But all you need to know is this
Zombies will never catch you
If you follow the rules on this list

You need to be able to run
You need to be strong
Only go out if there is sun
Or your life won’t be long!

Always check your locks & backseats
Your bathrooms and stores
Because they can always smell your meat
& if you see one, there’s bound to be more!

These are some of the few rules
You’ll be okay if you’re smart
But some people are just fools
Like this couple walking out from Sunmart

They just got off work
& it’s very, very late
Their love is like fireworks
& decide to celebrate by going on a date

Now, dates are not bad things
It’s just, they forgot the rules
Their romance has pulled some strings
The zombies see their mistake and start to drool

The couple goes into the café
So the zombies decide to trick them out
Some zombies sneak through the back to play
While others wait outside without a doubt

The couple panics!
They flee from the act!
They run to their Ford Classic!
The zombies freak out like maniacs!

The girl is thrown by the boyfriend into the car
The zombie runs right into the closed door!
So he missed out on the girl so far
He was too excited too score!

But the boy can’t seem to open his door
He didn’t read about locks on the list
The zombie is ready to attack for
He knows this time he surely shall not miss

The zombie grabs onto the boy
He rips and he tears
Into his neck like a dog toy
But he gets away and drives far from this nightmare

You may think he is okay,
Boys and girls, you forgot about the venom!
Okay is what he’ll portray
But soon he’ll be what you do not want to become…

A zombie!
One that can’t control his urges
To make people scream
And only death he’ll encourage!

Now that you’ve heard the story
Take time to reflect
Your life doesn’t have to be gory
Just follow the rules and your life shall be set(:

Tired

I'm tired of my life.
tired of school
tired of work
tired of friends
tired out of my mind.

what's wrong with me?

Ryan DeZurik

"I'm at the waters edge

&& I'm gearing closer.

This is where I will be,

Where you can find me."


Every now and then, I think of you. I think of us.
& I cry.

I cry because your life was cut short.
I cry because you deserved so much longer on this earth.
I cry because your family needed more time with you.
I cry because I can't let go.
I cry because I miss you.

I miss you, Ryan.
I, the writer, cannot find words to express how I feel about this.

I just know that I miss you so much, it hurts.

Weird.

I can't believe I
Liked you
You're not my
Type
You're way too
Into yourself

You're always
Right
I'm always
Wrong
You'd mesh well with
Her

You're both
Stubborn
You're both
Hard headed
You're both
Self focused

You'd be good for each other.

Lol, I just can't believe I liked you.

Weird.

Horror story (Expressive Writing)

I can't believe that this is happening.

He is holding on to my hand so tight I feel that it might just be ripped off. But, I just can't seem to make myself look away.

"Come on Syd, we've got to go and we've got to go now!" His voice has turned into panic and he is a mess. I just can't accept what is happening. They're everywhere and they'll soon be after us.


An hour ago, we decided to go out to eat after work. We hadn't eaten out in awhile and we each worked overtime, so we figured why not. We chose a small cafe on Broadway and sat at our window spot. We are the definition of a beautiful couple. We constantly smile at each other and we always hold hands across the table, like those silly 50's couples. While we're finishing our food, we hear a loud bang and look to the counter to find someone who was ordering suddenly collapse on the ground. I begin to get up to help, but he pulls me back, wanting the others around the fallen man to help him out. We continue to watch as the owner tries to help the woman get back up.

As he held out his hand, she leaped forward off the ground and tackled the man. She began to bite his neck and face, ripping apart his cheek and brow. Panic erupts and people scatter. Then others in the back of the cafe are experiencing their loved ones fly across the table and devour strangers.

I just stare. He is pulling my hand, pleading for us to leave. But I just can't move. I stare at the woman who is eating the store owner like he was her dinner. As she rips off his ear, she turns to me and let's out a bone chilling screech and he has thrown me over his shoulder and we are running.

Suddenly, they're everywhere. & they're acting as if they're starving bears.

As we're running to his car, a hungry man has decided that we're good enough and is after us. He quickly goes to my side of the car and throws me inside. I lock the door and the creature runs right into my door. I scream at the top of my lungs, but I feel as if no one can hear me. I look to his side and he can't seem to get his door open. The monster has noticed his dilemma and is now after him. I leap over the seat and try to open the door, but it's randomly stuck. As the door breaks open, he throws himself in, and tries to shut the door. But the monsters arm is inside the car and he is doing whatever he can to get inside to his meal. I feel helpless as he tries to shove the creature out, I hear loud screaming from both of them and I just shut my eyes, hold my head and cry. I don't know what to do. I pass out.

I wake up in his arms and I begin to cry. He holds me close. I have no idea where we are, but we're in a small dark room. He begins to cry with me. I bury my face into his chest and try to forget the horror I had just witnessed. He then takes my chin and lifts my head so I may look him in the face.

"Darling, I'm so sorry." He continues to hold me close and tears stream down his face.
"It's okay, it's all over. It's over." I try to stop my tears, but they just keep coming.
"No, it's not. It's just begun."
I don't understand his words until I see his collar bone. There is a massive bite mark and the veins around it are anything but normal.
"I'm infected."
I can't help my sobs. I don't know what to do or where to go from here.
"Don't worry, we're in a decontamination room and they said they could try and fix me. It might not work, so I asked if I could have some time alone with you." He is trying to hold himself together, but it's not working.
"It has to work. It has too. I love you." Is all that falls out of my mouth.

The doctors come in and decide that it's time. But, behind them is a man with a gun.
"Let's go lady." The man with the gun comes toward me and I panic. He continues to hold me and I hold him with all I have as the man with the gun grabs my sweatshirt. I'm ripped from his arms and thrown into the doctors. As the drag me out of the room, he yells to me that he loves me. I watch the man with the gun load his weapon.
I scream for him and he just cries to me with eyes filled with sorrow.
The man with the gun decides it's time to do his job.
As the doctors finally get me out of the swaying doors, I only hear our screams. The doors begin to sway back and fourth. As the close, I hear the gun shot and I see blood fly out of the glass window at the top of the doors. When they sway open, his body lifelessly falls to the ground. As they shut again, I hear another loud shot.

He is finished.

Mikayla,

I need you to come up here right now.
I need you to tackle me.
I need you to hug me.
I need you to be with me.
I need you to laugh with me.
I need you to cry with me.
I need you.
I need you.
I need you.

Fill me

I thought I had let go
I thought my friends had
Filled me.

I thought wrong.

Depression has come again
Why can't you leave me alone?

But here you are
Seeping into my skin
You're taking over
You're destroying my thoughts

Nothing
Fills me.

I am empty.

Understand

When I write on here, I write how I feel at the moment.
I am completely honest.

The reason to have this blog is to practice how to be more open. I struggle with speaking my mind, so I thought I would start somewhere small.

Friends, I'm sorry if you took the last entry wrong. I was just so frustrated. I thought we would be the group that didn't need any alcohol to have fun, but I was wrong. It's hard for me to realize that we're all growing up and riding our bikes and playing park games is something that we must all grow out of... Right?

I do not think drinking is bad. I just have had countless terrible experiences with drinking and drugs so I usually have a panic attack when put in situations that relate to these things.

I do not think less of people that drink. I love my family & friends to death, it's just drinking is something I do not partake in yet. Or maybe I never will, who knows.

But I need you to realize this,

I am not apologizing for what I have said on my blog.

These are my feelings written down for you to see who I am since I have trouble expressing myself.

The way you take it is up to you.

Pressure

Pressure
I watch them taunt you
They want to see you fall
You're shaking from the
Pressure

You don't have too
You want to belong so badly
You'd do anything for them
You think they're your friends

The shot glass is so full
They say it will be okay
Just one
You just take it all in

It burns all the way down
Go on,
Rush down something else
To try and take away the pain

It won't go away though
Nothing can take away what you've done
Do you feel good now?
Good for you, you now feel like you belong

Everyone decides It's now my turn
Pressure
Pressure
Pressure

I stare at that shot glass
I come up with terrible excuses
You say I don't have too
But you all want to see me fall

You are not my friends
I don't even know you
Do it. Do it. Do it.
Guess what?

I don't have to do a damn thing you tell me too.

I will not cave from this pressure
I know what all of you want from me
& I don't believe it's yours to take
My innocence is not yours

& never will be.

10:03am

I'm intoxicated with your scent

I can't let go.

Your promises

I felt so good when I talked to you
You reminded me that I am beautiful
You're the boy I thought I would always love

You promised we'd do our best to work out
You lied.

You promised we could be together forever
You lied.

You promised you'd always love me
You lied.

I began to build an imaginary world in my head
Of us in our perfect world
Where your lies came true.
You encouraged this world
You kept me from reality

Tonight, I realized what I had done
& I went mad

You lied when you said you loved me.
You just enjoyed the idea of not being alone anymore.
You knew I was easy.
You took advantage of my mind.

How could you do this to me?
You knew what I was doing
You allowed it to happen
I am an innocent little girl
You are a selfish old man

You lied.
You lied.
You lied.

So you know what I did to our world?

I burnt it to the fucking ground.
I drowned all the innocent civilians
I skinned all the animals
I destroyed the cities beauty

I saved your lies for last
I started them all on fire
& watched them burn

It felt so good to say goodbye
It's finally over.
Leave me alone.

This is done.

(:

I love my life.
It's so beautiful.
Thank you, friends.
I've never loved living
Until I met you.






& soon I'll have pictures with Grendel(:

All Hail The Heartbreaker

This song makes me sick on how accurate it is.
I've been through this three times now, and you'd think it would get easier.
But it doesn't.
The more I experience this, the easier it is for me to give up.

I'm not angry.
I'm just hurt.
I guess it's better off this way
I don't want to become wrapped up in someone before I go to cali
Especially since the only relationships I've seen
Destroy everything.


Anyway, here are the lyrics. They're more than perfect.


"I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your indecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another boy"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker"

Cry

Crying is good for your soul
It's letting your mind go
& accepting what has happened

Or it's releasing anger
Clench your teeth girl,
Scream out your pain

Crying is beautiful
Tears stream so perfectly down my face
My dark mask runs with tears

It's a step toward accepting life
The pain might never go away
But after each cry, life seems to get easier

That's what I like to tell myself anyway.

Hello, Perfection

I can tell your interest in me has changed
& friendship is a better thing to strive for

I'm okay with that.

I enjoy your company and our laughs
I see us becoming great friends

I'm okay with that.

I'm not ready for what you'd want from me anyways
I need to spend more time finding myself too

& I'm okay with that(:

California

I'm so terrified
But I'm applying.

I've always been the girl that's afraid to leave her backyard
& Now I might leave for a whole school year

My soul wants to break free
but my heart wants me to stay
Where I'm safe
& accepted

I shouldn't freak out
I mean, I haven't even applied yet.

But I can't breathe when it comes to mind
I wish someone would tell me to stay

But no one cares what I do
That's what really makes me wanna leave
I think maybe when I'm gone
People will maybe actually miss me.