10:03am

I'm intoxicated with your scent

I can't let go.

Your promises

I felt so good when I talked to you
You reminded me that I am beautiful
You're the boy I thought I would always love

You promised we'd do our best to work out
You lied.

You promised we could be together forever
You lied.

You promised you'd always love me
You lied.

I began to build an imaginary world in my head
Of us in our perfect world
Where your lies came true.
You encouraged this world
You kept me from reality

Tonight, I realized what I had done
& I went mad

You lied when you said you loved me.
You just enjoyed the idea of not being alone anymore.
You knew I was easy.
You took advantage of my mind.

How could you do this to me?
You knew what I was doing
You allowed it to happen
I am an innocent little girl
You are a selfish old man

You lied.
You lied.
You lied.

So you know what I did to our world?

I burnt it to the fucking ground.
I drowned all the innocent civilians
I skinned all the animals
I destroyed the cities beauty

I saved your lies for last
I started them all on fire
& watched them burn

It felt so good to say goodbye
It's finally over.
Leave me alone.

This is done.

(:

I love my life.
It's so beautiful.
Thank you, friends.
I've never loved living
Until I met you.






& soon I'll have pictures with Grendel(:

All Hail The Heartbreaker

This song makes me sick on how accurate it is.
I've been through this three times now, and you'd think it would get easier.
But it doesn't.
The more I experience this, the easier it is for me to give up.

I'm not angry.
I'm just hurt.
I guess it's better off this way
I don't want to become wrapped up in someone before I go to cali
Especially since the only relationships I've seen
Destroy everything.


Anyway, here are the lyrics. They're more than perfect.


"I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your indecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another boy"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far

I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever felt this way
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin

I will sleep another day
I don't really need to anyway
What's the point when my dreams are infected
With words you used to say
I will breathe in a moment
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up

So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life anymore
I knew it the moment you walked into the door

I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll let you get the best of me
Because there's nothing else that I do well
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker"

Cry

Crying is good for your soul
It's letting your mind go
& accepting what has happened

Or it's releasing anger
Clench your teeth girl,
Scream out your pain

Crying is beautiful
Tears stream so perfectly down my face
My dark mask runs with tears

It's a step toward accepting life
The pain might never go away
But after each cry, life seems to get easier

That's what I like to tell myself anyway.

Hello, Perfection

I can tell your interest in me has changed
& friendship is a better thing to strive for

I'm okay with that.

I enjoy your company and our laughs
I see us becoming great friends

I'm okay with that.

I'm not ready for what you'd want from me anyways
I need to spend more time finding myself too

& I'm okay with that(:

California

I'm so terrified
But I'm applying.

I've always been the girl that's afraid to leave her backyard
& Now I might leave for a whole school year

My soul wants to break free
but my heart wants me to stay
Where I'm safe
& accepted

I shouldn't freak out
I mean, I haven't even applied yet.

But I can't breathe when it comes to mind
I wish someone would tell me to stay

But no one cares what I do
That's what really makes me wanna leave
I think maybe when I'm gone
People will maybe actually miss me.