I'm trying

I'm trying to stay positive
But you've shoved weights into my heart
Destroyed,
I wait for the removal process
Empty faces pass me by
I wait alone
music plays though some wire
It's little comfort, but it's enough
When does this feeling go away?
Life isn't waiting for me
Everyone is moving forward
I can't seem to take that first step
I want to join my carefree friends,
but what-ifs haunt my soul

Meeting someone new is a beautiful distraction
Until you realize it's only the role they play
I don't mind, I should just start accepting less
But my heart won't quit

It finds joy in today
It tries to yell
But comes out as a whisper:
Don't give up, you've only just started
It's going to get a lot worse before it get's better
Someone new might have answers
Tear down your walls, allow people to love you
But also love yourself
Keep waiting for the truth
You are beautiful, just not to the human eye
I'm always here, reminding you to let go
He would have wanted this for you.