wings

i have this
itch
on the back of my
shoulders

i've been trying to ignore it
but you didn't call
and they
hang out without me

so this itch
i've been scratching
& it's keeping me
awake

i'm sleeping more
but i'm not tired
drawing more
but i'm not inspired

unhappy

but tonight
i am drowning
on the thought
that you decided to hate me

so in rage
i began to itch
and scratch
at the back of my shoulders

only to realize
why i've been bothered
because underneath my skin
feathers are growing

my soul is a bird
but i caged it within me
i was afraid that the world would
try to take it from me

but

a soul is not meant to be caged
it needs endless
saturdays and a summer-time kiss
with extra sprinkles and a side of uncontrollable laughter

so my soul is fighting back
and is giving me what i need
wings to fly away
from people who always leave

forever more

something you said
tonight
will ring in my ears
forever more.

you didn't lecture me
didn't judge
didn't pry.

but you sang 4 words
so sweetly
that i'm surprised the whole bar
didn't stop and stare
& marvel at your inner beauty.

i hope you're happy. oh, i really do hope you're happy.

so often we're quick to judge
and wish the worst upon each other.

but for someone
to genuinely wish
happiness upon you
is pure magic.

feels like 2 degrees

as the gray daysfill my eyes
and the leaves
hopelessly wander across the road
i remember that we are in a
season of change.

nothing is permanent.
time is short
and i need to make the most of it.

i need to make the most of this.

cracked

you tripped me
but i've slipped through your fingers
and cracked my head
on the thought of you.

now you're seeping into my skull
& taking over my thoughts.

your words were sweet to the touch
and now they're burning into my skin
why can't i just let this go?
you only tripped me to catch me.
you only tripped me to catch me.

purple

i'm awake
at 2:52
because
i know that
i'll never find
meet
see
laugh with
be with
anyone
like you
again.

you were a shooting star
you blew right through my heart
and that space you left
makes me whole

you'll be with me
until the day i breathe my final breath.
you're a summers sky. you're infinite. you're forever.

you're gone. 

these rainy days

these rainy days
make me
wonder
about you.

i think about how
sweet
it will be to wake up to your
kisses
your heartbeat
raging against mine
to feel your
marvelous
warm hands
press into my soft skin.

as we lay close in these blankets
i take in lungfuls of your scent
one hand upon your unshaved cheek
one hand intertwined with your fingers
with rings binding us together
forever.

yes.
on these rainy days i
wonder
about you.

all that i know

all that i know
is that you're fine without me
the spark in your eyes
is hollow and empty

so go on,
fill your soul
with dark things
and laughter.

fill out that paper work
for becoming the empty
the doctors will encourage,
say that it's healthy.

& as you fade into the crowd
please remember me
us
we

if it hurts, let it
can't take it?
then fake it.

force a smile when you finally
read the fine print.
& don't forget to blame me
for the things i can't change.