fault

i have this
fault
that started when
i was a little girl.

i watched these
wonderful
films
about happy endings.

and i wanted one
so badly.
so i began to dream,
dream of my happy ending.

but then i started getting older
and my dream became dim
because really,
who would want to be with me?

the dream to be a pretty wife
and mother withered away
i became a girl which portrayed
someone who wanted you to back off

i developed a front
that i'm okay on my own
and that i don't need a man,
i can do this on my own.

but underneath that layer
is the little girl
on the couch
watching disney films.

and that little girl is still dreaming
but no one is aware.
i haven't let her go.
because i desperately want her dreams to come true.

i am a foolish adult.

yes,
i am a foolish adult
keeping a little girl locked up inside
hopelessly waiting for her prince charming.

it's my biggest fault.
expecting him to just
show up
and sweep me off my feet.

yes, it's my greatest fault.