running in love

running.
it's something everyone should be familiar with.
even if you haven't ran in years, it's a feeling you can recall.
breathless.
just out of breath on a full fledged sprint.
out of breath.
yes.
that's how i feel when i think about you.
that's how i feel when i think about love.
is that what love is?
maybe. maybe not.

i guess i may never know.

but when i think about us
together,
that's what i am.
breathless.

fun.

fun
[fuhn]
noun
1.
something that provides mirth or amusement.

breaking up
getting back together,
drama upon everything you do,
i'm glad you're having fun.

trying to look better than him
pretending like everything is fine
laughing at everything that's not funny,
i'm glad you're having fun.

nothing to on a beautiful saturday,
so you smoke all of your weed
and stare at the ceiling all day.
i'm glad you guys are having fun.

judging everyone that walks by
or is even a little bit different than you.
everything you say is right.
i'm glad you're having fun.

giving yourself so easily away
and then crying because he's with
someone else.
quickly bouncing back for the next fling,
i'm glad you're having fun.

having sex with him
and then him.
and then let's see how this one works out,
i'm glad you're having fun.

wanting more people to like you
so you sell who you are
for only a few moments of noise.
i'm glad you're having fun.

working all day
and then sleeping the rest of your life away,
while your children swing and play
refusing to seek help, but
i'm glad you're having fun.


this is what surrounds me.
i am not better than all of you,
no.
i am not.

i am just filled with sorrow,
because i love you.

but i'm watching all of you drown.

your fun is sinking my soul.
& i just don't know how to handle that.

love

from her
to her

from him
to him

people just
using
each other.

"i have to figure out what i like or who i'm looking for."

how can you know what you're looking for when you don't even fully know who you are?

wasting time
on someone temporary
does not make sense.

saying that you love them
is a lie.

it can't be love
it just can't.

what happened to love based on fairy tales?

their love is forever
beautiful
magical
wonderful
peaceful
ever lasting.

no,
what you people have is not love.
you are not in love.

i will choose forever alone
over wasting time.

but i believe that my fairy tale is out there.
trust & patience will bring us together.

heartache awaits the rest of you.